As a beginning writer, I’m at the stage of trailing in the wake of other people’s successes.
Instead of creating the trend, I ride the waves of other people’s trends. I might see a trending hashtag on Twitter and write an article around it. That way, people might accidentally pay attention to me while they search for the ultimate #HappyBirthdayBeiber Tweet.
Continuing along this strategic vein, I decided to scan the New York Times bestseller list for inspiration. Maybe I can write a book in the same trending genre? If people are interested in a topic, why not give them more info about the same thing?
I sometimes kick myself for not writing the book “Quiet: a Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking”. I’m like, yeah! That’s me! I won’t stop talk… I mean, I’m an introvert! I wish I had written a manual for all the other introverts out there.
You know, if half the world is introverted, that’s a pretty lucrative niche. It’s a niche that people don’t really think about because introverts are so introverted.
I wish I had written that introverts guide, but now that I didn’t I keep thinking of ways to capitalize on this power- to- the- introvert trend. Maybe create a sub-segment? Left-handed introverts: how to survive in a backward world? (Technically I’m ambidextrous, but a bit of poetic license won’t hurt anybody. Worst case scenario, we’ll move the book to the bestselling fiction category.)
As I continue scanning the list, my eyes fall upon the oh-so-descriptive and oh-so-creative title: I am Malala. Malala is an Afghan girl with an incredible story: she survived both being shot by the Taliban for going to school, as well as being named Malala by parents who obviously hate her. (side note: it’s ironic that both in the US and in Afghanistan you can get shot for going to school.) I am Malala is the story of tenacious survival, an indomitable spirit, and the ability to speak in front of a UN assembly without puking or bursting into hysterical laughter.
And I am going to write the perfect sequel: I am notMalala.
I believe this book could serve as a good counter-point to accentuate the other side of the story; the story of all those millions of people who are not Malala. And who better suited to write this book than me? I am certainly not Malala.
To start, I am a male. That already results in a huge not-Malala penalty. Add to that the fact that I have never been shot by the Taliban, nor do I have a story of tenacious survival and an indomitable spirit, and it should be clear why I am a perfect candidate to write this future bestseller.
The book will explore every aspect of my humdrum life in excruciating detail: my boring childhood, my violence free schooling, all those days that I did not speak in front of the UN or at any public event, ever. I see no reason why this idea wouldn’t be a smash success.
See you on Oprah.
Which book cover better suits my future bestseller? Let me know in the comments below.
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